I'm only asking because that isn't how it happened for me and I'm trying to suss out how much of it was me and how much of it was this place messing with my head.
I don't think it's likely to be Trench. The Pthume
[ That's as far as Ford gets before what Fiddleford says really clicks into place in his mind. In his haste to scroll back up and make sure he really read what he thinks he read he hits send.
He can't even care about that, however. There's a lot he knows about Fiddleford, but this definitely isn't one of them. ]
It wasn't just scholarly curiosity or I'd have asked you all the way back in college.
[Which... actually the alternate universe where that happened might have been real wild, huh? They might have both learned some things a lot sooner.]
Trust me, I'm not exactly chomping at the bit to have this conversation, but I'll be up at night about it otherwise.
[Which begs the question of why he didn't just erase the memories that are making him this discombobulated, which is another very unsettling data point to consider.]
The point is it didn't happen like that. I didn't have to wait for someone else to suggest it, it just sort of hit me like a truck one day.
[ Huh. This isn't remotely the direction Ford expected this conversation to go but... okay, yeah. He can roll with it. ]
Not everyone figures it out like I did. Dipper seemed to understand right away, and I believe Ruby did as well.
[ Which is, frankly, none of Fiddleford's business - but Ford knows that Dipper and Ruby are open about their his relationships with Oscar and Ange, and Fiddleford is a trusted friend. ]
I sure didn't UNDERSTAND right away or I wouldn't be talking to you about it. I don't know where it came from, that's the whole issue. I've fancied women all my life and I can't imagine what's changed except that now I'm a squid, so it has to be something that happened here.
Well sure I did, but Jane Fonda was only ever on the screen. Emma-May was real. If I'm going to settle down with someone I'm not going to do it halfway. "The one" implies ONE. Singular.
[Essentially he is the ultimate wife guy. He doesn't really fall in love with someone until he's sure they're marriage material, and once he's sure of that, he forgets about everyone else.
If anybody tried to explain being aromantic to him it would fry his brain completely.]
[ And somewhat strange to imagine. By virtue of being a traveler Ford's longest relationship lasted just shy of three years. And sure, he took a long, long break from romantic entanglements after that one, but even then he hadn't really thought he would be hung up on her forever. ]
Alright, let's come from a different angle.
Isn't that's just picking one particular person, rather than deciding on one sex over the other?
Loyalty's sort of a key part of being married. Til' death and all.
[And that's relevant, because he doesn't quite get the point of dating someone and not having the eventual end goal be marriage. One is just the stepping stone to the other, they aren't separate things. He loses interest in someone the second he realizes they're just not compatible that way.
Maybe that's why he never thought of Ford that way. Being married to Ford, he's pretty sure, would kill him.]
You could say it's just picking one particular person but isn't
[Oh lord help him he does not want to talk about this with Ford Pines but he has still fully not grasped the core concept here]
isn't bedroom compatibility a concern? I'd think sex very much does matter.
[ actually this conversation is very bad and ford would like to stop having it
But Ford perseveres. Fiddleford is his closest friend. He can manage this much. ]
Right.
But just because you chose Emma-May over anyone else doesn't mean you were never attracted to other women, or that you're not theoretically capable of it in the future. Right?
[ If Fiddleford says no again Ford's going to throw his Omni into the sea. ]
There's no reason that principle wouldn't also apply to being attracted to men.
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cryptograms) wrote2021-09-04 07:34 pm
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It seems to me that that's the kind of thing a man ought to have figured out before he hits thirty-something.
[Mainly because if it isn't, that is a troubling data point in the 'you might not be as straight as you think' evidence pile.]
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Maybe, but I was focused on my work for the entirety of my 20s.
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[Which... again... is an unsettling data point.
And also does unfortunately track for Ford. He knows Ford, and he knows Ford would never make a first move.]
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I suppose that's correct. And it's the short answer to your original question: I noticed the first time another man approached me first.
HERE WE GO
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[ That's as far as Ford gets before what Fiddleford says really clicks into place in his mind. In his haste to scroll back up and make sure he really read what he thinks he read he hits send.
He can't even care about that, however. There's a lot he knows about Fiddleford, but this definitely isn't one of them. ]
That's why you asked?
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[Which... actually the alternate universe where that happened might have been real wild, huh? They might have both learned some things a lot sooner.]
Trust me, I'm not exactly chomping at the bit to have this conversation, but I'll be up at night about it otherwise.
[Which begs the question of why he didn't just erase the memories that are making him this discombobulated, which is another very unsettling data point to consider.]
The point is it didn't happen like that. I didn't have to wait for someone else to suggest it, it just sort of hit me like a truck one day.
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Not everyone figures it out like I did. Dipper seemed to understand right away, and I believe Ruby did as well.
[ Which is, frankly, none of Fiddleford's business - but Ford knows that Dipper and Ruby are open about their his relationships with Oscar and Ange, and Fiddleford is a trusted friend. ]
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once again i draw on a for real fucking conversation i have had
Don't you have to pick one eventually?
[Like... that's the whole thing. He fell in love with a woman. He thought that was the final word on it. You pick one and he picked one.]
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Why would you have to pick just one?
[ He's asking this question sincerely. Did he... did he miss something somewhere while he was out wandering the multiverse? ]
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[Uh.
Because why? Because he's just always assumed that's how it works?]
Theoretically I suppose you don't have to but once you settle down with someone that's kind of definitive, isn't it?
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[ How... exactly should he put this...? ]
After you got married did you suddenly stop caring about Jane Fonda whenever you watched Cat Ballou?
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[ Ford can't really remember how often, but often enough that he remembers it. ]
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[Essentially he is the ultimate wife guy. He doesn't really fall in love with someone until he's sure they're marriage material, and once he's sure of that, he forgets about everyone else.
If anybody tried to explain being aromantic to him it would fry his brain completely.]
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very loyal of you.
[ And somewhat strange to imagine. By virtue of being a traveler Ford's longest relationship lasted just shy of three years. And sure, he took a long, long break from romantic entanglements after that one, but even then he hadn't really thought he would be hung up on her forever. ]
Alright, let's come from a different angle.
Isn't that's just picking one particular person, rather than deciding on one sex over the other?
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[And that's relevant, because he doesn't quite get the point of dating someone and not having the eventual end goal be marriage. One is just the stepping stone to the other, they aren't separate things. He loses interest in someone the second he realizes they're just not compatible that way.
Maybe that's why he never thought of Ford that way. Being married to Ford, he's pretty sure, would kill him.]
You could say it's just picking one particular person but isn't
[Oh lord help him he does not want to talk about this with Ford Pines but he has still fully not grasped the core concept here]
isn't bedroom compatibility a concern? I'd think sex very much does matter.
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But Ford perseveres. Fiddleford is his closest friend. He can manage this much. ]
Right.
But just because you chose Emma-May over anyone else doesn't mean you were never attracted to other women, or that you're not theoretically capable of it in the future. Right?
[ If Fiddleford says no again Ford's going to throw his Omni into the sea. ]
There's no reason that principle wouldn't also apply to being attracted to men.
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Oh. So it's not a discrete sort of thing. Or it doesn't have to be.
[BIG ROUND OF APPLAUSE FOLKS HE'S GOT IT HE FIGURED IT OUT]
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Precisely. You'll find there's quite a few similar people in Trench.
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cw: discussion of mental illness
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