Stanford "Ford" Filbrick Pines (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
cryptograms) wrote2021-09-04 07:34 pm
cryptograms) wrote2021-09-04 07:34 pm
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[ It has been a while, and it would be a lie for Ford to say that he's not a little nervous about it - but since his own emotional state is one of those things that Ford lies about constantly to both himself and others, lie he does. He's not nervous. Just excited!
And it's easy to believe that, because Fiddleford is his friend, and being excited to see him (especially after something of an absence) comes naturally.
Especially when he's confronted with evidence that Fiddleford is, in fact, adjusting to life in Trench. ]
You're making good progress. It suits you.
[ Ford may have his own opinions on 70s-era color pallets but there's absolutely no denying that they're exactly what he expects from Fiddleford. ]
And it's easy to believe that, because Fiddleford is his friend, and being excited to see him (especially after something of an absence) comes naturally.
Especially when he's confronted with evidence that Fiddleford is, in fact, adjusting to life in Trench. ]
You're making good progress. It suits you.
[ Ford may have his own opinions on 70s-era color pallets but there's absolutely no denying that they're exactly what he expects from Fiddleford. ]
... Thanks.
[Honestly he did expect a comment about the color. It's surprising, but pleasantly so, that Ford has managed to pay him a compliment without it coming out like an insult.]
I figure if this is my home now then I'd like it to be homey. It's getting there. You come across any secondhand rugs without too many blood stains, you let me know.
[He walks back across the room but does not actually sit. For some reason it still feels weird, having Ford in his space, like it's normal. Just a friendly visit. Between friends.
Quick. Fill the air with something before the silence gets uncomfortable.]
Your, uh. Your present's on the table.
[It's small, easily held in one hand, and wrapped in simple brown paper and tied with red yarn. Nothing fancy. He can't imagine how hard he'd have had to search to find chintzy patterned wrapping paper in this place, much less anything appropriate for a holiday that doesn't exist here.]
[Honestly he did expect a comment about the color. It's surprising, but pleasantly so, that Ford has managed to pay him a compliment without it coming out like an insult.]
I figure if this is my home now then I'd like it to be homey. It's getting there. You come across any secondhand rugs without too many blood stains, you let me know.
[He walks back across the room but does not actually sit. For some reason it still feels weird, having Ford in his space, like it's normal. Just a friendly visit. Between friends.
Quick. Fill the air with something before the silence gets uncomfortable.]
Your, uh. Your present's on the table.
[It's small, easily held in one hand, and wrapped in simple brown paper and tied with red yarn. Nothing fancy. He can't imagine how hard he'd have had to search to find chintzy patterned wrapping paper in this place, much less anything appropriate for a holiday that doesn't exist here.]
[ Ford's always been artistically inclined, but more than a year of living with Mabel and being friends with people from Remnant really forced him to care about both interior decorating and color theory.
He still doesn't quite have a normal sense of either, of course, which is why he chuckles at the blood stains comment. ]
You'll want to check for blood magic infusions as well, in that case.
[ He once saw a bafflingly expensive cloak women from individually enchanted fibers. He has no doubt something similar has been done with a rug.
As for his present, he picks it up and starts to carefully unwrap it. If Fiddleford didn't want him opening it right away he would have said something. ]
He still doesn't quite have a normal sense of either, of course, which is why he chuckles at the blood stains comment. ]
You'll want to check for blood magic infusions as well, in that case.
[ He once saw a bafflingly expensive cloak women from individually enchanted fibers. He has no doubt something similar has been done with a rug.
As for his present, he picks it up and starts to carefully unwrap it. If Fiddleford didn't want him opening it right away he would have said something. ]
[It feels oddly heavy for something so small, and as Ford pulls away the paper it will be clear why: it's a knife. A folding pocket knife, the kind with a spring mechanism that flips it open. Its handle is also inlaid with--]
I figured if you were so keen to sample my blood I ought to just give in. Now you aren't allowed to ask me for it again in future. This is what you get, and we're square.
[It's obviously something Fiddleford made himself; it's got that at once scrappy and kind of ornate look that he tends toward. The blade is only about as long as a finger but then, it's not meant to be a weapon so much as a tool. A pocket knife can do a lot if you're creative, and Fiddleford knows Ford is creative.]
Funny you mention magic because it has a little bit in it. You push the switch forward one click to open it, twice to heat the blade. You could use it to solder somethin' if you really wanted, or to cauterize a wound the next time you do somethin' stupid.
I figured if you were so keen to sample my blood I ought to just give in. Now you aren't allowed to ask me for it again in future. This is what you get, and we're square.
[It's obviously something Fiddleford made himself; it's got that at once scrappy and kind of ornate look that he tends toward. The blade is only about as long as a finger but then, it's not meant to be a weapon so much as a tool. A pocket knife can do a lot if you're creative, and Fiddleford knows Ford is creative.]
Funny you mention magic because it has a little bit in it. You push the switch forward one click to open it, twice to heat the blade. You could use it to solder somethin' if you really wanted, or to cauterize a wound the next time you do somethin' stupid.
[ It might not be what most people think of when they picture a nice knife, but knowing that Fiddleford made it tells Ford plenty about its quality. Even Fiddleford's equivalent of hacked together junk has a particular durability to it that's hard to match. Since this is a gift, he's got a pretty good idea of the level of care Fiddleford must have put into it.
The knife alone is plenty of reason to be excited. But as Fiddleford explains its assorted features Ford's expression suggests that the mere fact that Fiddleford used blood magic at all is a separate gift all on its own. ]
Fiddleford, this is magnificent! What's the maximum temperature the blade can handle?
[ Without waiting for an answer, he clicks the button twice to activate the heat feature. ]
The knife alone is plenty of reason to be excited. But as Fiddleford explains its assorted features Ford's expression suggests that the mere fact that Fiddleford used blood magic at all is a separate gift all on its own. ]
Fiddleford, this is magnificent! What's the maximum temperature the blade can handle?
[ Without waiting for an answer, he clicks the button twice to activate the heat feature. ]
Upwards of six-hundred Farenheit. I told you, you can use it to solder. It's a little inexact, gettin' it to where you want it, but I couldn't work out a way to dial it in without the whole thing bein' way too bulky. No point to a pocket knife that can't fit in a pocket. You have to just sort of feel it out.
[What he means is, use your magic brain to kind of direct it. It's not his area of expertise and that is on purpose. He doesn't think too hard about how he directs his electricity or the various things he can make it do when he purposefully gets his blood on things, he just goes on gut instinct.]
[What he means is, use your magic brain to kind of direct it. It's not his area of expertise and that is on purpose. He doesn't think too hard about how he directs his electricity or the various things he can make it do when he purposefully gets his blood on things, he just goes on gut instinct.]
[ Right around an actual soldering iron, then. Hot enough to be efficient but not at risk of hitting temperatures equivalent to, say, a welding torch. And, indeed, more than hot enough to cauterize any wound should Ford find himself in a difficult situation in the future, which he surely will. A perfect balance. ]
A good reason to experiment with it once I'm home, then.
[ And then, in a tone that is more genuine and warm than what Fiddleford is used to hearing from him, he adds: ]
Thank you, Fiddleford. I'll make good use of it.
[ And he folds the knife and tucks it away into one of his coat's inner pockets, where it'll be easy to reach. ]
A good reason to experiment with it once I'm home, then.
[ And then, in a tone that is more genuine and warm than what Fiddleford is used to hearing from him, he adds: ]
Thank you, Fiddleford. I'll make good use of it.
[ And he folds the knife and tucks it away into one of his coat's inner pockets, where it'll be easy to reach. ]
[Ha, yeah. That is kind of weird. It's like for just a split second all the weirdness between them has been pushed aside and things are how they were back in the Backupsmore dorms.
Hm.
Anyway!]
You tell me if it needs any adjustment. I'm still gettin' the hang of this whole, uh.
[He waves a hand.]
Witchcraft thing. Like to think I'm pretty thorough but often you don't see an issue until you're out of testing and find a new use case.
Hm.
Anyway!]
You tell me if it needs any adjustment. I'm still gettin' the hang of this whole, uh.
[He waves a hand.]
Witchcraft thing. Like to think I'm pretty thorough but often you don't see an issue until you're out of testing and find a new use case.
[ Fiddleford is not only doing 'witchcraft', he's actually admitting to be willing to do more of it in the future. This day just keeps getting better. ]
Of course! I've always found Coldblood to be highly reactive, but more predictable in its interactions than most others, so I'm sure if there's any issues troubleshooting will be straightforward.
[ Unlike trying to work with Paleblood, which always feels wishy-washy, or Darkblood, which seems to only do what it feels like half the time. ]
Have you had a chance to work with any other blood types yet?
Of course! I've always found Coldblood to be highly reactive, but more predictable in its interactions than most others, so I'm sure if there's any issues troubleshooting will be straightforward.
[ Unlike trying to work with Paleblood, which always feels wishy-washy, or Darkblood, which seems to only do what it feels like half the time. ]
Have you had a chance to work with any other blood types yet?
[He shakes his head. Unlike some people he isn't quite comfortable just up and asking for someone's blood.]
Just my own. It seems the most... practical. What'm I goin' to do with Paleblood, make a gun that puts you to sleep?
[... Actually that's kind of a sickass idea. Maybe he should talk to Luna. That seems like the sort of non-violent option she'd like to foster.]
Most folks here are Hunters and they just want somethin' straightforward that'll keep them alive. You want to see the shop? It's still a little messy but it was way worse when I got it.
Just my own. It seems the most... practical. What'm I goin' to do with Paleblood, make a gun that puts you to sleep?
[... Actually that's kind of a sickass idea. Maybe he should talk to Luna. That seems like the sort of non-violent option she'd like to foster.]
Most folks here are Hunters and they just want somethin' straightforward that'll keep them alive. You want to see the shop? It's still a little messy but it was way worse when I got it.
[It's a plain envelope, unadorned but for Ford's name on the front.]
Hey Ford,
This is probably a huge mistake and I'm almost definitely going to regret it, but you know how Trench is. Better this than getting set on fire or chopping myself into bits on your doorstep or something fucked up like that.
Anyway it's totally fair if you just end up burning this and not dealing with it, but if you do bother to read the whole thing: 1) sorry in advance 2) thanks, owe you one.
Oz will never admit it in another couple thousand years, and he'll probably kick my ass for doing this -- hell, I'd kick my own ass if I could -- but I know he misses you. He keeps doing that thing he used to when he was stressed out in Remnant where he'd just quietly stare out his window and barely notice anyone else coming in, and you already know this place is practically retirement for us.
Part of it might be his new powers -- he's mentioned having gotten help from you before, but I know it's complicated, and he never asks useven though I wish he would. [that bit is AGGRESSIVELY scratched out]
For what it's worth, he does know he fucked up really bad. I think that's why he's so fucked up about it, because he was probably the happiest I've ever seen him when you guys were together, and I've known him since I was seventeen. And I know it's hard to even think about giving him another chance as long as he doesn't take the first step to apologize properly, but I think he's terrified to try to meet you halfway because he doesn't think you'd want to see him there. I don't think that's true, and if it is just tell me to fuck off and we can pretend this never happened, but if it isn't
I just wanna say I get it. When I first got to Deerington I thought I never wanted to see his face again, and when I did I almost punched him in it. He'd lied to me too, for decades. He abandoned us when we needed him the most. But he's changed, I swear. He kept a promise that he could've easily broken and I wouldn't have even blamed him for it, knowing how long he'd been trapped living without escape. He was honest with me when he went back home to the war and everything got worse, even though he could've lied about it like before and I wouldn't have known any better.
He's really trying. I think he's gotten it into his head that the way to make up for what he did is just to leave you alone forever, even though I've told him he should really just apologize already and see what actually happens. Last time we talked, he basically left it on an "I'll think about it if there's ever an opportunity", which in Oz-speak is more like, "I think I would actually literally become a squid on the spot if I had to be that vulnerable and he doesn't want me back", which I think is kind of a dumbass move because it's only gonna get harder the longer you guys don't talk about it.
Anyway, I'm not really sure where I'm going with this. I guess, if you've still got feelings for him and you're open to hearing him out sometime, you know where to find us.
~Q
Hey Ford,
This is probably a huge mistake and I'm almost definitely going to regret it, but you know how Trench is. Better this than getting set on fire or chopping myself into bits on your doorstep or something fucked up like that.
Anyway it's totally fair if you just end up burning this and not dealing with it, but if you do bother to read the whole thing: 1) sorry in advance 2) thanks, owe you one.
Oz will never admit it in another couple thousand years, and he'll probably kick my ass for doing this -- hell, I'd kick my own ass if I could -- but I know he misses you. He keeps doing that thing he used to when he was stressed out in Remnant where he'd just quietly stare out his window and barely notice anyone else coming in, and you already know this place is practically retirement for us.
Part of it might be his new powers -- he's mentioned having gotten help from you before, but I know it's complicated, and he never asks us
For what it's worth, he does know he fucked up really bad. I think that's why he's so fucked up about it, because he was probably the happiest I've ever seen him when you guys were together, and I've known him since I was seventeen. And I know it's hard to even think about giving him another chance as long as he doesn't take the first step to apologize properly, but I think he's terrified to try to meet you halfway because he doesn't think you'd want to see him there. I don't think that's true, and if it is just tell me to fuck off and we can pretend this never happened, but if it isn't
I just wanna say I get it. When I first got to Deerington I thought I never wanted to see his face again, and when I did I almost punched him in it. He'd lied to me too, for decades. He abandoned us when we needed him the most. But he's changed, I swear. He kept a promise that he could've easily broken and I wouldn't have even blamed him for it, knowing how long he'd been trapped living without escape. He was honest with me when he went back home to the war and everything got worse, even though he could've lied about it like before and I wouldn't have known any better.
He's really trying. I think he's gotten it into his head that the way to make up for what he did is just to leave you alone forever, even though I've told him he should really just apologize already and see what actually happens. Last time we talked, he basically left it on an "I'll think about it if there's ever an opportunity", which in Oz-speak is more like, "I think I would actually literally become a squid on the spot if I had to be that vulnerable and he doesn't want me back", which I think is kind of a dumbass move because it's only gonna get harder the longer you guys don't talk about it.
Anyway, I'm not really sure where I'm going with this. I guess, if you've still got feelings for him and you're open to hearing him out sometime, you know where to find us.
~Q
Edited 2023-02-02 11:17 (UTC)
[Yeah, he can't help it, there's an audible sort of cringe at that.]
...Well, it could be worse, I guess.
[But not by much, frankly, at least as far as Raven goes. The only thing that really qualifies is October.]
Figures talking about her would come up due eventually. [He sighs, tiredly.] You wanna grab some lunch or something? It's not exactly an Omni sort of talk.
...Well, it could be worse, I guess.
[But not by much, frankly, at least as far as Raven goes. The only thing that really qualifies is October.]
Figures talking about her would come up due eventually. [He sighs, tiredly.] You wanna grab some lunch or something? It's not exactly an Omni sort of talk.
[ Oh boy. This letter is... a lot? Yeah, a lot. It's a lot, and Ford very strongly does consider following Qrow's advice and just burning the damn thing. It would certainly be more expedient and less agonizingly awkward than trying to respond. He should definitely burn it.
But... he doesn't. He sits on it instead, turning the words and the situation and the prospect of interacting with Ozpin normally again over in his head. He has to admit, there's something there in Qrow's words. He doesn't want there to be something there, but there is, and it gnaws away at him while he sits alone in his empty house, suddenly missing the sound of his family more fiercely than he has in months.
Qrow doesn't get a response to his letter for days. And then one day while he's out and about, be it as a crow or a human, he will hear a sharp whistle from maybe half a block away - and in case that's too easy to dismiss, it's followed up with: ]
Qrow!
[ And there's Ford Pines, looking like he's trying very hard to not look grim. ]
But... he doesn't. He sits on it instead, turning the words and the situation and the prospect of interacting with Ozpin normally again over in his head. He has to admit, there's something there in Qrow's words. He doesn't want there to be something there, but there is, and it gnaws away at him while he sits alone in his empty house, suddenly missing the sound of his family more fiercely than he has in months.
Qrow doesn't get a response to his letter for days. And then one day while he's out and about, be it as a crow or a human, he will hear a sharp whistle from maybe half a block away - and in case that's too easy to dismiss, it's followed up with: ]
Qrow!
[ And there's Ford Pines, looking like he's trying very hard to not look grim. ]
[Ah.
Qrow should've assumed this might happen. He could ignore the whistle, even the call -- he knows he can outfly Ford, from that period of time the man had tried to catch him back in Deerington -- but there wouldn't be much point in that, ultimately. It'd just be allowing the awkwardness to hang in the air, as it were.
Even so, he kind of hovers and flaps awkwardly in the air for a few beats, before he lets out a little warble that might be a bird equivalent to a sigh, and touches down as a man a few moments later.]
...Hey.
Qrow should've assumed this might happen. He could ignore the whistle, even the call -- he knows he can outfly Ford, from that period of time the man had tried to catch him back in Deerington -- but there wouldn't be much point in that, ultimately. It'd just be allowing the awkwardness to hang in the air, as it were.
Even so, he kind of hovers and flaps awkwardly in the air for a few beats, before he lets out a little warble that might be a bird equivalent to a sigh, and touches down as a man a few moments later.]
...Hey.
[ On some insane level, Ford is kind of hoping Qrow really will take off into the sky. The reignition of the Bird Rivalry would actually be a fantastic way of dealing with the mess churning in his thoughts right now.
But he knows that would be deeply unproductive, so when Qrow approaches Ford feels a strange mix of dread and relief. He pushes past it, though, and clears his throat when Qrow lands. ]
Are you busy? I'd like to talk, if you aren't.
[ He blatantly would not like to talk, be he's pretty sure he needs to. ]
But he knows that would be deeply unproductive, so when Qrow approaches Ford feels a strange mix of dread and relief. He pushes past it, though, and clears his throat when Qrow lands. ]
Are you busy? I'd like to talk, if you aren't.
[ He blatantly would not like to talk, be he's pretty sure he needs to. ]
[ Ford, very predictably, lights up at the prospect of seeing the shop. He and Fiddleford might have different methods and work towards difference purposes, but they're both inventors and tinkerers and Ford has always enjoyed observing the work of fellow craftsmen. ]
I would.
[ As for Paleblood weaponry... ]
I've tried to isolate the potential hallucinogenic qualities of Paleblood in ammunition, but I haven't had much luck. Vileblood seems better for disorienting beasts.
I would.
[ As for Paleblood weaponry... ]
I've tried to isolate the potential hallucinogenic qualities of Paleblood in ammunition, but I haven't had much luck. Vileblood seems better for disorienting beasts.
[The one downside of embracing retirement and refusing to get a proper job in Trench is that he is, in fact, never particularly busy. He's not even busy enough to lie about things he could be busy with, considering that Ruby's married and moved out and his own partner is as retired as he is.
Knowing this, and with his resolution to not let this be unnecessarily weird, he rolls a shoulder in a casual shrug.]
Nah, not really. You wanna talk over some pizza or something?
[Please don't make him have this talk here where he has to be sober AND have no distractions easily on hand,,]
Knowing this, and with his resolution to not let this be unnecessarily weird, he rolls a shoulder in a casual shrug.]
Nah, not really. You wanna talk over some pizza or something?
[Please don't make him have this talk here where he has to be sober AND have no distractions easily on hand,,]
Let's.
[ Ford agrees quickly because he, too, thinks he might evaporate if he doesn't have something to distract himself, and he's too aware of Qrow's aversion to alcohol to start pounding back whisky right in front of him.
There's a restaurant not too far away, fortunately, so they don't have to deal with the agony of companionable silence for very long. They show up, they sit down, they order. Ford takes a moment to collect his thoughts, carefully sorting through what he's saying an how to say it.
Then he opens his mouth and says something completely different. ]
You have another niece, don't you? Yang? Ruby's sister?
[ Ford agrees quickly because he, too, thinks he might evaporate if he doesn't have something to distract himself, and he's too aware of Qrow's aversion to alcohol to start pounding back whisky right in front of him.
There's a restaurant not too far away, fortunately, so they don't have to deal with the agony of companionable silence for very long. They show up, they sit down, they order. Ford takes a moment to collect his thoughts, carefully sorting through what he's saying an how to say it.
Then he opens his mouth and says something completely different. ]
You have another niece, don't you? Yang? Ruby's sister?
[This short circuits him. He'd been braced to talk about Oz, and what Qrow had mentioned in his letter, and maybe even the full story about what happened with the lamp back on the way to Atlas.
He had not, in any way, prepared for Ford to ask him about Yang. It takes him a moment to even adjust to the realization that Ford knows about Yang, because it would've probably only come up in conversation with Ruby in the first place.]
Y...eah? What about her?
He had not, in any way, prepared for Ford to ask him about Yang. It takes him a moment to even adjust to the realization that Ford knows about Yang, because it would've probably only come up in conversation with Ruby in the first place.]
Y...eah? What about her?
[ Ford, genuinely, was also not expecting to ask about Yang. He's never even met the girl, just heard about her secondhand from people from Remnant. But it's her absence that feels painfully relevant in this moment anyway. ]
You haven't seen her since before we came to Trench, right? How?
[ ... Well, that doesn't make much sense. Ford tries again. ]
I mean-- I felt like I was losing my mind when Stan was gone, even when the kids were still here, and that was only a matter of a few months.
You haven't seen her since before we came to Trench, right? How?
[ ... Well, that doesn't make much sense. Ford tries again. ]
I mean-- I felt like I was losing my mind when Stan was gone, even when the kids were still here, and that was only a matter of a few months.
[Oh. That's...ah. He's not sure where he was expecting this to go, but it wasn't that. It's a sensitive question, honestly, and he's taking the excuse of a restaurant to nibble at some bread he definitely doesn't need while he sorts out some of his thoughts.]
...Did Ruby ever explain our ah, family situation?
[He rubs at his neck, awkwardly. Ford now knows he has a twin sister, which might give him a clue where he's going with this, but after a moment of hesitation, he decides to just continue without waiting for an answer. Talking about this is a bandaid that's better to rip off fast rather than slow.]
Ruby and Yang are half-sisters, technically. Raven was Yang's mother, but she left when Yang was still a baby. Our other teammate, Summer, stepped in for her, and Ruby was born a couple years later. But a few years after that...she disappeared. Went on a mission and never came back. In a world like ours...and knowing the war we were all part of ... eventually, we had to assume she was dead.
[He lets out a breath that's not quite a sigh, but there's a note of exhaustion in it. He has held this grief for so long now it's seeped into his very bones. He does not know who he would be without it. (Probably someone with more of his shit together, he thinks in his darker moments)]
It was a rough time for all of us. Tai and I...we didn't take it well. I spent--a lot of years soaked in booze, just trying to keep moving. And then Beacon fell. Yang lost her arm, the Fall Maiden's powers were lost ... Oz died, and I had to carry things forward in his absence. It was a lot of pressure--didn't always handle it that gracefully either. Hell, the kids had to save my ass a couple times. But no matter how hard it got, they never gave up. ...Even when I did, after we found out the truth about the war, and I was off getting trashed while they almost got killed.
[Another pause, though he mostly just turns the bread roll over in his hands instead of actually eating any more of it.]
That's a real long way of saying ... I've lost a lot of people in my life. Sometimes it was bad enough I didn't know how I could survive another day without 'em. I just hit a point where I realized I was so busy drowning in what was gone I was taking what I still had for granted, and how easily I could lose that too.
...So that's where I am now. I wish Yang was here, sure, and I still check the beach for her every month. But when the dream was crumbling, the rest of us decided to build a new life here together, and now -- I've got even more to protect in this life we've built than I did before.
...Did Ruby ever explain our ah, family situation?
[He rubs at his neck, awkwardly. Ford now knows he has a twin sister, which might give him a clue where he's going with this, but after a moment of hesitation, he decides to just continue without waiting for an answer. Talking about this is a bandaid that's better to rip off fast rather than slow.]
Ruby and Yang are half-sisters, technically. Raven was Yang's mother, but she left when Yang was still a baby. Our other teammate, Summer, stepped in for her, and Ruby was born a couple years later. But a few years after that...she disappeared. Went on a mission and never came back. In a world like ours...and knowing the war we were all part of ... eventually, we had to assume she was dead.
[He lets out a breath that's not quite a sigh, but there's a note of exhaustion in it. He has held this grief for so long now it's seeped into his very bones. He does not know who he would be without it. (Probably someone with more of his shit together, he thinks in his darker moments)]
It was a rough time for all of us. Tai and I...we didn't take it well. I spent--a lot of years soaked in booze, just trying to keep moving. And then Beacon fell. Yang lost her arm, the Fall Maiden's powers were lost ... Oz died, and I had to carry things forward in his absence. It was a lot of pressure--didn't always handle it that gracefully either. Hell, the kids had to save my ass a couple times. But no matter how hard it got, they never gave up. ...Even when I did, after we found out the truth about the war, and I was off getting trashed while they almost got killed.
[Another pause, though he mostly just turns the bread roll over in his hands instead of actually eating any more of it.]
That's a real long way of saying ... I've lost a lot of people in my life. Sometimes it was bad enough I didn't know how I could survive another day without 'em. I just hit a point where I realized I was so busy drowning in what was gone I was taking what I still had for granted, and how easily I could lose that too.
...So that's where I am now. I wish Yang was here, sure, and I still check the beach for her every month. But when the dream was crumbling, the rest of us decided to build a new life here together, and now -- I've got even more to protect in this life we've built than I did before.
Edited 2023-02-28 06:04 (UTC)
[ Wow, that family dynamic sure is something. Ford would feel compelled to tell Qrow more about his own in the name of evening the score, except that he suspects Qrow would sooner dive out a window than be subjected to such an intimate conversation subject. It's something he'll be silently grateful for now and then, perhaps, address in more detail later.
Right now, the important thing is that Qrow's words help him orient his own thoughts. They don't exactly help, because Ford's problem is he doesn't have anyone that's even remotely as close to him as Stan and the kids were. ]
That was what we decided, too, when we left Deerington for Trench.
[ Ford takes a deep drink of his complimentary water before he continues. ]
Sorry. I asked because... I was on my own for thirty years. It didn't bother me at the time, and I thought I would be able to adjust after the kids went back to the sea, but...
[ He shakes his head, helpless. ]
Your letter made me realize I don't actually know how to be alone anymore.
Right now, the important thing is that Qrow's words help him orient his own thoughts. They don't exactly help, because Ford's problem is he doesn't have anyone that's even remotely as close to him as Stan and the kids were. ]
That was what we decided, too, when we left Deerington for Trench.
[ Ford takes a deep drink of his complimentary water before he continues. ]
Sorry. I asked because... I was on my own for thirty years. It didn't bother me at the time, and I thought I would be able to adjust after the kids went back to the sea, but...
[ He shakes his head, helpless. ]
Your letter made me realize I don't actually know how to be alone anymore.
[There is a moment, as Ford speaks, that Qrow thinks it's kind of funny they'd have quite a bit in common and not really find out for close to three years. Maybe because that's something else they share -- they are absolutely terrible at talking about themselves.]
I'll be honest, I have no idea what I'd do if I were in your shoes. Raven and I -- didn't exactly grow up in a standard way, let's put it like that. I didn't really know what it was like to ... have your life matter to people, and feel the same way in return, until I went to Beacon, met Oz.
[Until he became part of Team STRQ, his first family. His first real loss.]
I went on plenty of missions by myself, after we lost Summer, but there was always somewhere to come home to, you know? People to do it all for.
[Oz may have taught him to care for humanity at large, but the heart of it was always closer. It's always been about the people he loves and believes in -- whether it's keeping them safe or fighting to defend the ideals they cared about.]
I'd like to think if I was the last one standing in Remnant [a painfully possible if he tries desperately not to dwell on] or if the rest of them went back to the sea here, I could still carry on fighting for the things that mattered to us, but I dunno if I could keep from falling apart.
[If he had no obligations to keep him away from the bottle, would he be able to resist trying to drown that pain again? He doesn't know. It plagues his nightmares, at times.
There's an awkward sort of weight in the air that lingers after that, like he definitely has more to say but isn't sure if he should say it, before he finally speaks up again -- though he doesn't quite look Ford in the eye as he does it.]
...For what it's worth, even if you didn't -- get back with him, our families have been pretty well entangled since Deerington, and all, so. If you ever needed anything....
[Brothers, kill him now. He is not at all equipped to have this conversation properly and he isn't even cursed to keep going this time, he is absolutely screwing this up.]
I'll be honest, I have no idea what I'd do if I were in your shoes. Raven and I -- didn't exactly grow up in a standard way, let's put it like that. I didn't really know what it was like to ... have your life matter to people, and feel the same way in return, until I went to Beacon, met Oz.
[Until he became part of Team STRQ, his first family. His first real loss.]
I went on plenty of missions by myself, after we lost Summer, but there was always somewhere to come home to, you know? People to do it all for.
[Oz may have taught him to care for humanity at large, but the heart of it was always closer. It's always been about the people he loves and believes in -- whether it's keeping them safe or fighting to defend the ideals they cared about.]
I'd like to think if I was the last one standing in Remnant [a painfully possible if he tries desperately not to dwell on] or if the rest of them went back to the sea here, I could still carry on fighting for the things that mattered to us, but I dunno if I could keep from falling apart.
[If he had no obligations to keep him away from the bottle, would he be able to resist trying to drown that pain again? He doesn't know. It plagues his nightmares, at times.
There's an awkward sort of weight in the air that lingers after that, like he definitely has more to say but isn't sure if he should say it, before he finally speaks up again -- though he doesn't quite look Ford in the eye as he does it.]
...For what it's worth, even if you didn't -- get back with him, our families have been pretty well entangled since Deerington, and all, so. If you ever needed anything....
[Brothers, kill him now. He is not at all equipped to have this conversation properly and he isn't even cursed to keep going this time, he is absolutely screwing this up.]
[ Ozpin again, huh? He certainly is the sort to make an impression on people, and thinking about that helps Ford come around to the point that Qrow is making. It's not just his family that's important to Qrow - or maybe it's more like the people that are important to him weren't always his family. Some of them were strangers at first, people he might have never met if his life had gone even slightly differently.
Immediately, Ford knows he can't change his definition of 'family' to include people that aren't Stan, Dipper, and Mabel, and he knows that even if he could he wouldn't want to. But that doesn't mean the world has to be categorized into 'family' and 'everyone else' either. Already, Fiddleford is someone he'd consider more than merely a friend. He knows the Wendy and Soos are both similarly important to Stan, Dipper, and Mabel. And the people they've all come to know and care about here, too. Ruby, Willow, Oscar, Glitch, Ritsuka - and Qrow, of course. None of them family, but all of them something more than mere friends.
And he thinks it's probably the other way around, too. Certainly Qrow, at the very least, would not be subjecting himself to this horrendously awkward conversation if there wasn't some sort of critical connection between the Pines and the people of Remnant. It's annoyingly simple now that everything has fallen into place, and Ford can only sigh when he thinks about how thoroughly he missed the point prior to this. Mabel wouldn't be mad at him, but surely she'd pat him on the arm and give him that disappointed-but-sympathetic look. ]
At the very least, I know Ruby won't let it stand if she thinks someone she cares about is in trouble.
[ It's said like half a joke, because Ford desperately needs to get away from the emotionally raw and vulnerable parts of this conversation, and just as desperately needs Qrow to understand that Ford knows exactly what's being offered to him. ]
Immediately, Ford knows he can't change his definition of 'family' to include people that aren't Stan, Dipper, and Mabel, and he knows that even if he could he wouldn't want to. But that doesn't mean the world has to be categorized into 'family' and 'everyone else' either. Already, Fiddleford is someone he'd consider more than merely a friend. He knows the Wendy and Soos are both similarly important to Stan, Dipper, and Mabel. And the people they've all come to know and care about here, too. Ruby, Willow, Oscar, Glitch, Ritsuka - and Qrow, of course. None of them family, but all of them something more than mere friends.
And he thinks it's probably the other way around, too. Certainly Qrow, at the very least, would not be subjecting himself to this horrendously awkward conversation if there wasn't some sort of critical connection between the Pines and the people of Remnant. It's annoyingly simple now that everything has fallen into place, and Ford can only sigh when he thinks about how thoroughly he missed the point prior to this. Mabel wouldn't be mad at him, but surely she'd pat him on the arm and give him that disappointed-but-sympathetic look. ]
At the very least, I know Ruby won't let it stand if she thinks someone she cares about is in trouble.
[ It's said like half a joke, because Ford desperately needs to get away from the emotionally raw and vulnerable parts of this conversation, and just as desperately needs Qrow to understand that Ford knows exactly what's being offered to him. ]
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